This post is a little different from my others in that I wanted to take time out to share how my blog was conceived, which is a major part of my journey as well.
Purpose Painted Pink was conceived on the night of the biggest breakdown of my breast cancer fight. I was angry, I was afraid and I asked God “why?” I asked God why me and why breast cancer? I knew it was not His will for my life to be consumed by this disease.
In crying out to God He let me know that there were people who needed to hear from me and that I needed to trust Him. I continued to pray and seek the purpose behind the pain.
It was that night that He gave me “Purpose Painted Pink.” Anyone who knows me knows that I am an extremely private person. In fact, many close to me knew nothing about my diagnosis until I was well into my treatment.
I will admit that I didn’t jump and start working on the blog immediately. The thought of sharing what I was going through was scary. I didn’t know what people would think, I didn’t want anyone to look at me differently and I didn’t want people “in my business.”
However, God quickly let me know that this was His business and I was on assignment. I sat on my first 3 blog posts for weeks. I knew I had to be obedient and I finally hit “publish” on my first blog post.
I guess you can say writing this blog and sharing my story is my “getting out of the boat” experience. It has been such a blessing to hear from people who have been encouraged and affected by my story. I’m so grateful for all the prayers and words of encouragement. I’ve heard from people who have dealt with cancer, who have loved ones who are undergoing treatment and those whose faith has been strengthened and renewed just from reading what I’m going through.
It’s not what you go through, but how you go through it. It’s an easy thing to say “I trust God” when everything is going well, but it’s when we’re faced with challenges that our faith is truly tested.
I never imagined that at the age of 28 I would be diagnosed with breast cancer. There have been several times throughout this journey when I’ve felt as if I were on the outside looking in watching myself go through everything. Every day is not easy and each step in the treatment process presents its own set of challenges. However, I know I serve a God who is greater than my circumstance. I serve a God who declared me “healed” before I ever received the diagnosis (Isaiah 53:5). It has been my faith and standing on the word of God that has given me strength and continues to do so as I go through life.
One thing that I’ve realized during this entire process is, often times the mental battle can be worse than the physical. There are days when I get tired and frustrated and I don’t like how I look. Those are the times when I have to look myself in the mirror and remind myself that “despite all these things I am more than a conqueror through Him who loved me (Romans 8:37)”.
There are doctors’ appointments that don’t always go the way I anticipate and the news isn’t always what I want to hear. It’s in those times that I have to remind myself that “by His stripes I’m healed (Isaiah 53:5)” and that If I believe I will receive whatever I ask for in prayer (Matthew 21:22).
What felt like the end at one point for me, has turned out to be the beginning of the work that God has laid out for me. I read a quote recently that said: “what the caterpillar calls his tomb, the butterfly calls his womb.” There is always purpose in the process.
Thank you to everyone who reads and shares my blog and continues to follow my journey.
Keep me in your prayers as I continue to walk in faith and live on purpose!