Pillows, Pills & Prayer…


I was so grateful to have the help and support of my loved ones. I had to use a small stool to get in and out of the bed in my parents’ guest bedroom. I had to constantly have help adjusting all the pillows. Between the pain and having drains on each side, I wasn’t able to lay the way I wanted to. I had to sleep sitting up in bed.

I used the timer on my phone to make sure I kept my pain medicine in my system. I had used the saying “I feel like I’ve been ran over by a bus before,” but I don’t think I could say I’ve really felt that way until now. THIS had to be what being ran over by a bus felt like.

I turned my head when my mom would empty my drains and I refused to remove the bra I had on over my bandages. I was afraid of what was (or wasn’t) there. I would stand in the mirror and slowly move the bra, but as soon as I felt like I was getting too close, I would pull it back over the bandages.

I was exhausted. It was nice to have my boys climb in bed with me and read Bible stories. They were such great helpers. They would hold my hand as I climbed the stairs and made sure my water bottle stayed full and my pill bottles were within reach.

Most of my days were spent in bed. I would read my Bible or just spend quiet time in prayer. There were days when I closed my eyes and listened to the cars going up and down the street, birds chirping and an occasional bug thumping against the window. Some days I felt like the world around me was going on as usual and I was at a standstill.