I had been waiting on the final pathology based on the tumors that were removed. Even though I had gone back and forth to the Dr. I still hadn’t heard what I wanted to hear just yet. I have been declaring that ” I AM HEALED” since the day of my diagnosis. I have had several appointments that didn’t quite go the way I wanted them to and in spite of medical history, statistics and the Dr. saying my type of cancer “has the tendency to return,” I remained faithful.
The Dr’s threw around all this fancy medical terminology which was quite frustrating at times. I just wanted them to say what I had been saying all along.
I was at my parents’ house with one arm stuck in my shirt’s sleeve and the other trying to keep the shirt from rubbing against my scar when my cell phone rang.
“Hello,” I answered
“Hi Monisha, I just wanted to let you know that we got all the final pathology back from the breast tissue and lymphnodes we removed…” then there was a pause.
Why did she stop? what was the news? I thought to myself before speaking up…
“Okay,” I said waiting for her to continue…
“Well, you know when you first came in you had very large and rapid growing tumors and you were diagnosed with stage IIB based on those factors. Well there was barely any cancer left in what we removed.”
” So…what does that mean?” I asked feeling tears of joy swelling in my eyes.
“It means, you go on and enjoy your life,”
“ Thank you so much!” I said trying to fight back tears.
It was as if I had been holding my breath for 8 long months and I was finally able to exhale. I dropped to my knees, lifted my hands and thanked God.
I had spent over half the year battling breast cancer. I had endured chemo, neulasta shots, losing my hair, the emotional roller coaster that comes along with the diagnosis and losing my breasts.
At 28, I had experienced hot flashes and been told that my menstrual cycle may not return which could mean no more children. My whole life had changed with one phone call.
What I have realized over the course of my treatment is cancer is NOT a death sentence, it’s a life sentence. Being diagnosed with cancer pushed me to live a more purpose driven life, a life even more deeply rooted in faith and a life that inspires and leads others to know God.
I guess I had been in the bathroom a little too long because my mom came and knocked on the door.
I opened the door and she could tell I had been crying and asked what was going on.
” The doctor called to tell me they had the final pathology,” I said shaking my head and crying harder.
Her eyes got big for a second as she motioned for me to keep talking.
” I’m cancer free, it’s gone!” I said.
My mom hugged me as she let out a sigh of relief.
” I told you, didnt I tell you?” she said smiling and squeezing me tighter.
I’m not sure how long I cried and Thanked God, but I felt amazing. I knew I still had to undergo another tissue expansion and surgery, but I was CANCER FREE and in this moment, nothing else mattered.